Not at all. Everyone deserves to live and thrive and be protected.
But I ask you this, when you have those who would be hurt by your pain and who would be crushed by your abandonment, who rely on you and need you, where is your responsibility? Is it to the person in front of you or is it to the people to whom you have a previous connection?
Not all responsibility is selfless, and not all selflessness is responsible. Sometimes the responsible thing is the selfish one, and sometimes it is the altruistic one.
To me, duty lies with those you are sworn to and those you love. While saving others would be nice, and should be pursued, it is not always viable. In that case, priorities must be made.
I myself must prioritize a certain duty above all else, and after that, I prioritize my loved ones, for it is to them I owe fealty--and that does not necessarily mean putting their lives above mine, sometimes it means protecting myself or their own loved ones above protecting them.
In a place where death has no meaning, Levity, throwing away your life and safety to "protect" others, while your own pain rends the hearts of those who love you, is, as I have stated, only an empty gesture. A means to dodge personal guilt and nothing more.
[He listens politely, stays silent for a time as he digests the information.]
I see... I do feel that the question you asked me is a somewhat unfair one to ask of someone who has no memories, nor real connections yet. I am sworn to no one. Would it not make sense for me to prioritize everyone I meet?
[He leans against a wall thoughtfully.]
But, if I understand what you and Five have told me correctly... While 'death' as such does not exist here, the accompanying pain and emotional scars certainly do. Once again the choice you would have someone make is between hurting themselves, even if not physically, or hurting their loved ones. So which would you prefer? The physical death of someone you care for, when you know they will come back soon enough, or the scars piling up on their heart? From your words I would assume that it is the latter, and I cannot say I understand it.
You misunderstand, it is the scars on the heart I find much more bothersome.
But many things leave scars, Levity. Seeing a loved one die, for instance, even should they return, is a shock hard to recover from the first time, and the second, and the hundredth, though you may go numb at some point.
I ask only that you consider deeply your own priorities and the hearts of those you grow connected to. Whether it is worth letting them see you hurt to save another. Whether it is worth saving another to hurt yourself. Or whether it is worth hurting yourself with guilt, by harming others to spare others seeing your mangled corpse. There are no good outcomes, in some games, and choices must be made as you can.
If you wish to argue that self-sacrifice to avoid guilt is one way of protecting the heart I do agree. But it protects your own heart, not that of those who love you. And that is my point on its selfishness. Something to consider.
If you find your heart too frail to bear the guilt of harming others, than it may be for the best to take such a route. But know that as long as people love you, hurting yourself will still cause harm, it will only be a more invisible and lasting kind. It is a matter of deciding if your own heart or theirs is the sturdier.
There is no shame in acknowledging your own limits, of your heart, and your ability. In fact it would be better if all were honest about their reasons for self-sacrifice; not a righteousness to save others, but simply the frailty to to be unable to harm others. I would find it more palatable if they could but be truthful.
In the end your priorities must be decided by yourself. These are simply my feelings, as passionate as I may be on the subject, it is ultimately somewhat subjective.
And perhaps a bit much for a game on kissing and festivity.
Ah, we are mostly in agreement, then. Indeed, my own concern is that I would not be nearly strong enough to make that kind of choice without breaking. Although I cannot deny I still feel that it is right to save others, nor do I think that I could in good conscience choose to abandon someone for the sake of saving myself, even if the ultimate goal is sparing my loved ones the pain of losing me. What frustrates me, however, is that I find myself unable to articulate why it is so, exactly. While I would of course not begrudge anyone else such a choice, I feel like I would not be able to live with myself afterwards. Of course, I've no true way of knowing until I am forced to participate...
[He looks aside with a soft chuckle.]
Although from what I understand, 'tis likely that I would be among the first victims. Mayhaps that is for the best.
[Levity shakes his head.]
But you are correct. This is hardly the time for such a discussion. Is there aught else you would wish to talk about?
I do hope that you are spared these choices as long as possible. And when they come that you may make the ones you best may live with. For I would see your heart spared such grief, if it may be.
But until that time, let us try to enjoy the festivities.
Tell me how you are settling in? You have met some of Baritones and seem to get along well with your unit from your words. Aside from Cardinal, Five and Vergil have you made friends elsewhere? Or those you would like to become friends?
[He nods gently, feeling reassured by the support, and his smile grows more genuine at the question. He likes people...]
Ah, I've met quite a few people today! Hardtack, Hurricane, Hope--my, I did not realize there were so many names of the same letter. Izanagi, Leviathan and Thancred, of sensitIV, and Eclipse of AlcheME. All rather curious people!
Well, Hurricane is a kind lad, Izanagi I do quite like, and Hardtack is Five's brother, an amnesiac with few more memories than you. As for the rest! I am afraid I know little or nothing.
That you are meeting and enjoying so many is good.
I rather took to Izanagi! He seems very cheerful, and I've a feeling we shall get along famously. Leviathan is very polite and kind, and Eclipse is quite reserved and a little... mm, depressive I would say. And I think you would enjoy Hope's company: she is a smart woman, wonderful to speak with.
[He holds up a finger.]
But I was intrigued by Thancred the most! Apparently, we are like to be from the same world. I haven't had a chance to speak to him about it yet, but I am rather looking forward to it!
It is rather common I am afraid. Absinthe has only enemies from his own star, for example. In fact you will find few in baritones who share a world with others who are not at odds with some or all of those they share a star with.
I do not know if that is so common on future is now, or sensitiv.
But if you are my friend, why would it not worry me that you have enemies?
[He shakes his head stubbornly.]
And... what do you mean by people not being my friends if they're not my enemies? I am not so naive to think that I should extend unconditional trust to anyone I encounter, but... do people not deserve a measure of it nonetheless?
I have an agreement with my enemies, you need not worry about. As for those who are neither enemy nor friend, it is just that. Not an enemy does not simply make one a friend.
How you approach others should be your own affair. Your trust and openness may win those who would otherwise be hard to.
Still, it is a danger you place yourself in, every time you offer a piece of your heart to a stranger.
I will not say most here are cruel by nature, but they are thoughtless, selfish, and short-sighted. Not in malicious ways, but that it can be chaotic and painful to handle those with such volatile and fickle natures is undeniable.
[He stays silent for a few moments, thinking, then looks Cosmo in the eye.]
Vergil told me as much. That people are often cruel out of thoughtlessness and inattention. He said I could be good at helping them be otherwise... and I hope that I can do just that. I hope I'll be strong enough.
[The gesture is a little surprising, but welcome nonetheless. Levity brightens up, chuckling at the touch, leans into it.]
I am doing fine, for the most part. But... I must admit my sleep has been troubled. My days are rather bright, but night brings a lot of worries. I suppose 'tis unsurprising.
I would suggest your familiarize yourself with other unit's powers, not just your own. But among what Baritones can do, manipulation of dreams is the skill I find most personally useful.
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But I ask you this, when you have those who would be hurt by your pain and who would be crushed by your abandonment, who rely on you and need you, where is your responsibility? Is it to the person in front of you or is it to the people to whom you have a previous connection?
Not all responsibility is selfless, and not all selflessness is responsible. Sometimes the responsible thing is the selfish one, and sometimes it is the altruistic one.
To me, duty lies with those you are sworn to and those you love. While saving others would be nice, and should be pursued, it is not always viable. In that case, priorities must be made.
I myself must prioritize a certain duty above all else, and after that, I prioritize my loved ones, for it is to them I owe fealty--and that does not necessarily mean putting their lives above mine, sometimes it means protecting myself or their own loved ones above protecting them.
In a place where death has no meaning, Levity, throwing away your life and safety to "protect" others, while your own pain rends the hearts of those who love you, is, as I have stated, only an empty gesture. A means to dodge personal guilt and nothing more.
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I see... I do feel that the question you asked me is a somewhat unfair one to ask of someone who has no memories, nor real connections yet. I am sworn to no one. Would it not make sense for me to prioritize everyone I meet?
[He leans against a wall thoughtfully.]
But, if I understand what you and Five have told me correctly... While 'death' as such does not exist here, the accompanying pain and emotional scars certainly do. Once again the choice you would have someone make is between hurting themselves, even if not physically, or hurting their loved ones. So which would you prefer? The physical death of someone you care for, when you know they will come back soon enough, or the scars piling up on their heart? From your words I would assume that it is the latter, and I cannot say I understand it.
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But many things leave scars, Levity. Seeing a loved one die, for instance, even should they return, is a shock hard to recover from the first time, and the second, and the hundredth, though you may go numb at some point.
I ask only that you consider deeply your own priorities and the hearts of those you grow connected to. Whether it is worth letting them see you hurt to save another. Whether it is worth saving another to hurt yourself. Or whether it is worth hurting yourself with guilt, by harming others to spare others seeing your mangled corpse. There are no good outcomes, in some games, and choices must be made as you can.
If you wish to argue that self-sacrifice to avoid guilt is one way of protecting the heart I do agree. But it protects your own heart, not that of those who love you. And that is my point on its selfishness. Something to consider.
If you find your heart too frail to bear the guilt of harming others, than it may be for the best to take such a route. But know that as long as people love you, hurting yourself will still cause harm, it will only be a more invisible and lasting kind. It is a matter of deciding if your own heart or theirs is the sturdier.
There is no shame in acknowledging your own limits, of your heart, and your ability. In fact it would be better if all were honest about their reasons for self-sacrifice; not a righteousness to save others, but simply the frailty to to be unable to harm others. I would find it more palatable if they could but be truthful.
In the end your priorities must be decided by yourself. These are simply my feelings, as passionate as I may be on the subject, it is ultimately somewhat subjective.
And perhaps a bit much for a game on kissing and festivity.
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Ah, we are mostly in agreement, then. Indeed, my own concern is that I would not be nearly strong enough to make that kind of choice without breaking. Although I cannot deny I still feel that it is right to save others, nor do I think that I could in good conscience choose to abandon someone for the sake of saving myself, even if the ultimate goal is sparing my loved ones the pain of losing me. What frustrates me, however, is that I find myself unable to articulate why it is so, exactly. While I would of course not begrudge anyone else such a choice, I feel like I would not be able to live with myself afterwards. Of course, I've no true way of knowing until I am forced to participate...
[He looks aside with a soft chuckle.]
Although from what I understand, 'tis likely that I would be among the first victims. Mayhaps that is for the best.
[Levity shakes his head.]
But you are correct. This is hardly the time for such a discussion. Is there aught else you would wish to talk about?
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I do hope that you are spared these choices as long as possible. And when they come that you may make the ones you best may live with. For I would see your heart spared such grief, if it may be.
But until that time, let us try to enjoy the festivities.
Tell me how you are settling in? You have met some of Baritones and seem to get along well with your unit from your words. Aside from Cardinal, Five and Vergil have you made friends elsewhere? Or those you would like to become friends?
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Ah, I've met quite a few people today! Hardtack, Hurricane, Hope--my, I did not realize there were so many names of the same letter. Izanagi, Leviathan and Thancred, of sensitIV, and Eclipse of AlcheME. All rather curious people!
[He beams. New friends!]
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Well, Hurricane is a kind lad, Izanagi I do quite like, and Hardtack is Five's brother, an amnesiac with few more memories than you. As for the rest! I am afraid I know little or nothing.
That you are meeting and enjoying so many is good.
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I rather took to Izanagi! He seems very cheerful, and I've a feeling we shall get along famously. Leviathan is very polite and kind, and Eclipse is quite reserved and a little... mm, depressive I would say. And I think you would enjoy Hope's company: she is a smart woman, wonderful to speak with.
[He holds up a finger.]
But I was intrigued by Thancred the most! Apparently, we are like to be from the same world. I haven't had a chance to speak to him about it yet, but I am rather looking forward to it!
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I can only say this, not all from the same stars are friends. Perhaps he will have most interesting things to say.
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...Vergil and Absinthe said the same, I believe. Is it not sad to think that you would be at conflict with those who share a world with you?
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I do not know if that is so common on future is now, or sensitiv.
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Levity gives Cosmo a careful look, tilting his head.]
Is it the same for you, too?
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You know... I don't think I understand what an enemy is supposed to be.
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However one who is not necessarily an enemy to you, individually, is also not necessarily a friend either.
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[He shakes his head stubbornly.]
And... what do you mean by people not being my friends if they're not my enemies? I am not so naive to think that I should extend unconditional trust to anyone I encounter, but... do people not deserve a measure of it nonetheless?
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How you approach others should be your own affair. Your trust and openness may win those who would otherwise be hard to.
Still, it is a danger you place yourself in, every time you offer a piece of your heart to a stranger.
I will not say most here are cruel by nature, but they are thoughtless, selfish, and short-sighted. Not in malicious ways, but that it can be chaotic and painful to handle those with such volatile and fickle natures is undeniable.
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Vergil told me as much. That people are often cruel out of thoughtlessness and inattention. He said I could be good at helping them be otherwise... and I hope that I can do just that. I hope I'll be strong enough.
[...]
Is it a strange wish?
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[He lifts a hand and cups Levity's chin, though he has to reach up to do it.]
And speaking of thoughtless inattention, I would ask how you fare.
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I am doing fine, for the most part. But... I must admit my sleep has been troubled. My days are rather bright, but night brings a lot of worries. I suppose 'tis unsurprising.
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[He does let the touch linger sinceit's being leaned into.]
Are your nights restless?
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Yes. Between the novelty of this place and the nature of the games, my dreams are not the most pleasant.
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Hm. Baritones at least can assist there.
Lily especially is popular in that regard.
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What do you mean?
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I would suggest your familiarize yourself with other unit's powers, not just your own. But among what Baritones can do, manipulation of dreams is the skill I find most personally useful.
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WRITES A FKN NOVEL I GUESS
LEVITY ASKED FOR THIS
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